The other day was one of those days which left me feeling like I am failing my children. Barely getting through the day. Teaching them nothing. Letting them run wild like feral children on some creepy Discovery Channel special that way too many people watched.
However, there are some key phrases and actions that beg me to ask the question, “Where in the world would they learn something like that??? Things like:
- Rachel taking the rolled up diaper I just changed, walking over to the gate, and chucking it into the kitchen, because she’s obviously too lazy to walk the additional 15 feet and actually throw it away (I told you, she’s got an arm). Now, where would she learn that?
- Claire tooting (on my finger, no less, as I apply some booty cream), laughing, and shouting, “TOOTS!!!” What? It must be Chinese for “Thank you for tolerating my stinky butthole, Mommy, you are totally the best! And gorgeous to boot!” They do watch a little Kai-lan, you know.
- Rachel pointing to the kitchen doorway and telling The Samdog “Out Sammy! Go sit down!” No idea where she ever would have heard that. I love that dog to pieces and will surely miss the day when he is gone and not causing me to constantly trip over him and break both of my delicate ankles as he scrounges for bits of turkey dog and cheese cubes.
- Both girls shouting over and over again at the loud, annoying, obnoxious, I-want-to-shoot-it-with-a-pellet-rifle dog next door: “Eeeeeeeee-nough!” Who has been showing my children horrendous Jennifer Lopez movies without my consent?
- I enter the living room to see a skirmish and start with, “Hey, hey, hey…” which Claire then finishes off with a “Whass going on!” Seriously, this is getting creepy. Maybe it’s the nanny. What? I don’t have a nanny? Oh.
But then there’s:
- Claire leaning against me in the chair, sighing sweetly, and saying, “Mommy….I’m happy….”
- Rachel letting out a massive (ok it wasn’t that bad) burp at the table, then following it up with a seriously cute, “Oh! Esscuse me!”
- Claire offering her dad half of her cookie.
- Sissy kissies.
- Rachel seeing me upset one day, coming up to hug me, rubbing my back, and saying, “Iss ok, Mommy. Don’t worry, Mommy.”
- Glancing up from doing the dishes to see them in a tight embrace that lasted a very, very long time. No usual attempts to pull the other down, no giggling uncontrollably. Just a sweet, loving embrace.
I guess I do teach them a thing or two. I still plead the fifth on the first five items, though.
Bad quality phone photo. Excellent quality hug. Twins rule.
What’s the most horrific thing you’ve ever [inadvertently] taught your children? The most heartwarming?