Things I would have tweeted: Dallas edition

Last weekend we loaded up the SUV and made the trek up to Dallas for my niece’s 2nd birthday party.

Driving with young kids should be illegal. But yay for portable DVD players! And yay for smartphones, so I could keep everyone on Twitter updated on the important details of our drive.

Like this:


We haven't been invited back

Or this:

Detailing my job description -- and pleading for beer (FYI "yo" = "to")

And even this:

Sharing my thoughts on whether The Backyardigans' Uniqua is an alien or a weird reptile.


But once we arrived in town, I had to tear myself away from the Twitters and interact with actual people.

So here’s a rundown of how our weekend went, had I been able to live tweet the trip for you. Because you’re dying to know.


Things I Would Have Tweeted: Dallas Edition

My dad’s grass looks effing amazing. Curse Hubs for not letting us water ours.

My girls are so cute in their swimsuits. Oh look! One of them just tried to drown another party guest!

Oh…there she goes again.

One bite of pizza does not a meal make. But apparently 2 pieces of cake does.

All 4 of my grandparents are here in one place. #love.

PRESENTS! Wait, none of them are for me. #sadface

Back to tha hotel… da na na na naaaaa…… #N2Deep

R&C are too stinkin cute trying to go to sleep in the big bed for the first time ever. They fell asleep holding hands.


{pause for necessary sleeping tweet break}

{commence hypothetical tweeting}


Why can’t I wake up with the energy of a 3 year old?

Seriously, where’s the volume control on these kids? They’re sitting at a solid 11. #spinaltap

SpongeBob is the devil.

Patrons of the Embassy Suites, if you weren’t already awake, you are now! You’re welcome.

Why do people look at you like you’re an alien when you have three small children?

Elevators rule #thatisall

I have seen like 6 pregnant ladies this morning, and it’s not even 10:30. Note to self: do NOT drink the water here.

I heart my grandparents.

Stopping off in Waco to see some friends. R&C sure have missed their buddies. Not the Branch Davidians. We don’t miss them.

Wow this baby is loud. And may have pooped. And we’re out of size 3’s. #sendhelp #andsnacks

Fly in the car. So annoying.


I would like to personally thank the inventor of the portable DVD player. And maybe hug him.

Scratch that, I want to kill him for not giving the portable DVD player never ending battery life. #whatwashethinking

We’re so close. The kids are melting, begging to go home and go to bed. Kind of sad really.

Oh my GOD I am so effing tired!

Holy shizz was our garage door up all wknd? Hope no one’s waiting to kill us, altho they may run away screaming when they see this circus rollin up.




We’re all still here, so obvs the vicious attackers fled the scene when we entered the house with three screaming, overtired children.

Wise move, would be killers, wise move.

Join the Conversation


  1. I am dying.
    I lived in San Antonio during the whole Waco mess…this made me pee my pants:
    “Stopping off in Waco to see some friends. R&C sure have missed their buddies. Not the Branch Davidians. We don’t miss them.”

    1. Wasn’t that crazy? I remember we went thru Waco on a family road trip once and detoured to the site. Creepy.

  2. I can’t believe you had to step away from Twitter to interact with real people. At least you were able to remember all the things you would have tweeted so we didn’t miss anything.

  3. Leigh Ann, I saw you mentioned this post on the comment you left on the 8pm Warrior blog so I just had to check it out.

    LOVE IT! πŸ™‚

    Thanks for the great blog posts, keep it up!

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