The one where I emerge as the nerdy old person

I’ve known my niece Madison since she was a wee 18 months old. Now she’s a full fledged freshman in high school, and it’s funny to think I’ve watched her grow so much. Granted, they live halfway across the country, but I’ve always known her to be sweet, funny, and adorable.

Then we became Facebook friends.

It’s okay. I can overlook the occasional swear word, pay no attention to the overdramatic song lyrics, or I may raise my eyebrows at the teenage boys writing “U R cute” on her wall, even though the “text typing” drives me up the motherloving wall.

But I pay no mind. I’m not her mom. I’m the super cool aunt who does cool stuff {although her and my opinions of cool may differ} and doesn’t get all Judgy Judgertons on her.

Until now.

To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee
Faces have been blacked out to protect the literary challenged.

This I cannot forgive. No one makes vomit faces at my favorite book. I read it and loved it in high school. I still read it and love it today.

And there was also this:

The responses started rollin in.

I don’t understand…she’s posing to finish that book…ohhhhh…she’s supposed to finish it. They weren’t teaching that new shorthand back in the day when I was in school. And why do teenagers always finish off words with repetitive letters? How exactly do you draw out a “t?”

I like this girl.

Now we’re being a little dramatic, no? The most boring book ever? Sweetie, you’re in ninth grade. You’ve barely hit the tip of the boring iceberg, and I can assure you there will be worse. You’ll beg your teachers in the coming years to let you read this book again.

Yes, Jimmy. Tell us. Does it? *spoiler alert!*

Someone fill me in on what “smh” means. High school was a long time ago. Obviously, because then there’s this:

Yup. I ousted myself as the old person trolling the teenager’s Facebook page. But those two “likes” seriously validated my self worth.

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    1. That’s awesome! Honestly, Madison loves to read and is very smart. That’s why this kinda caught me off guard. It’s an awesome book!

    1. Nothing makes me feel older and more un-hip than hanging with my niece and my husband’s youngest sister.

  1. Funny!! It’s okay though…as much as I hated Literature in high school, that was one of the very few books I enjoyed. I loved it and have actually read it a few times since. 🙂

    1. Hahahaha! Seriously, it doesn’t make any sense. You say you looooooove something, not loveeeeeee it.

    1. Madison actually LOVES to read, but her mom said that she says it makes her look like a nerd. Funny, when you’re an adult, a love of reading is cool.

  2. What is wrong with kids these days? Why can’t they spell? Yes, I think they’re foolish for not liking To Kill A Mockingbird (or as they would say, TKAM… smh), but I understand that age brings wisdom and it might take a few years to see the light. But the spelling, or lack thereof? The bizarre and meaningless drawn out consonants, the purposeless abbreviations? I have lost all hope for the future. I hope the world does end in 2012, while people can still spell out the entire word ‘rapture.’

    You are not alone in your old lady-ness. Let’s hang out and yell at the kids to pull up their pants, put their hats on straight, and become literate. Snap. That’ll teach those kids.

    1. And for Pete’s sake, stop listening to that God forsaken ear bleeding pop music! You crack me up.

  3. Bwaaaa haaaaa haaaaa LOVE IT! LMAO at this post, LA!
    (BTW, that ‘said’ 14 yr-old is indeed my daughter ).
    OK, for all you moms with little ones, I have to warn you that there is a phase of ‘complete retardedness’ that happens from age 10-15 that is COMPLETELY baffling). A hundred people can warn you on this, but you will still be dumbfounded when it happens to yours.

    I didn’t know she hated this book so much…lol. That would explain some of her grades on that semester then. I have to give credit to Madison though, she reads books like they are water. I mean, that girl loves to read. I take her to the library because I would be broke if we constantly went to B&N – and she’ll check out 4-5 books and finish them in a week. Not cute little teeny-bopper (yes, this just dated me) paperback books, but monster ones with depressing and dramatic adult stories.
    She told me once that by telling people that she likes to read so much, it made her out to be a nerd (this was followed by her slamming a door and turning up her radio…sigh). So maybe it’s not ‘cool’ for her to be a reader. Either way, I’m printing out this blog entry to show her in a few years. Hilarious.

    1. You know, I knew Madison loved to read, I think that’s why I was so surprised. She’s a smart one. Maybe she’ll realize that reading IS cool, and not just when you’re a grown up. Tell her not to be too mad at me. 🙂

  4. I have a theory about the extra letters. A teenager’s job is to irritate and shock his or her elders. Well, they’ve kind of run out of things to do in that respect, since things like tattoos, piercings, and assorted drunken debaucheries are all “been there done that” for the older generations.

    So it seems like now, all they can do to claim their right to be obnoxious is to add letters to things and purposely misspell things.

    Oooh, those rebels.

    1. I like this theory. They plan on taking over the world by taking all of us spelling nazi’s out when their poor use of the English language.

  5. I have never read it. I hate reading. Period! And since it wasn’t required I never picked it up. However, the child who said she’s “pose” to do something might benefit from a little more reading herself. My #1 most irritating pet peeve: When the “loveeeeeee” something.

    1. That annoys the crap out of me. Don’t they know that it reads as “lovie?” And shame on you! It’s an excellent book. 😉

  6. One of my favorite books! And I had to unfriend my 17 year old cousin because I couldn’t take anymore “like this and i’ll confess” shit.

    1. YES! What is up with that stuff? I’m kind of glad there was no social media when I was a teenager.

  7. Blasphemous. Ms. Lee, I apologize on behalf of the next generation. Us old twenty and thirty something codgers(ahem) still love and respect one of the greatest books ever written. Proof of my love for HL: I have a shirt that reads : Atticus Finch is my co-pilot.

  8. That is still my favorite book from childhood. I still have the original copy I had in the seventh grade and it’s torn and falling apart, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of it. And btw, smh means “shakes my head.” 🙂

  9. I’ll fess up, I hated that book in 9th grade. I started liking it when I got into things like For Whom the Bell Tolls. I could barely even stomach the Cliff’s Notes on that thing. I did read it again after high school and decided it was probably my boy crazy 14 year old brain mixed with the fact that I only read the chapters we were being quizzed on that made me hate it initially. Oh, and not sure if anyone answered already but SMH is shaking my headddd:).

    1. Well as long as you came around eventually… I found it to be the first book I had to read for school that actually kept my attention from the first page. (And I’m so glad there are people out there who know the SMH lingo!)

  10. You had me laughing and yay for taking one for the nerdy adult team, we applaud you!

    I am so with you on the elongated letters – what IS that? I’m so old.

    1. Nothing makes me feel older and more un hip than hanging out with my teenage niece and sister in law.

    I loved that book and still do!
    Teenager are on a different planet. I was when I was one.
    And the language? I don’t get it.
    what is “spose,” “smh”?
    I’m going to be the biggest loser mom when my daughter is a teenager and I CAN’T WAIT!
    Brian and I are already planning the things we’re going to do to her (and any other children we have).
    ROLL UP! Homie! Watch out! Here comes yer mom’s with her head out the sun roof singing Jay Z!

    1. I’m sure I was too, but I don’t remember being that way. I really don’t want to be a loser mom. But I’m sure I will be. I’ll appear to be trying too hard.

  12. OMG, you are so funny! When I started reading it, I totally thought you were going to call her out on something inappropriate she posted for her age or some boy nonsense or something. But then? The literary angle? Genius. 🙂

    1. It’s not cool to know how to spell, didn’t you know that? Actually Madison is a huge reader, which she will completely deny to her friends because apparently that makes you a nerd.

  13. I had to look up SMH on Urban Dictionary.

    I will also never, ever, EVER understand why they extend the last letter. What purpose does that serve? Kids these days. Sheesh.

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