Something weird has happened lately. I’ve flipped my Twitter and Facebook usage.
Most non tweeters don’t understand Twitter, and you really won’t until you start to use it. And then you’ll get addicted. And then you’ll start to loath Facebook.
I like to say that Twitter is where people go to get real. We complain, we swear, we chat, we share, we boast occasionally, and we complain some more. And then Facebook starts to look really lame and full of people bragging about the things that make their life look perfect, while those of us on twitter fully admit that we’re merely jackasses disguised as semi responsible adults.
Meanwhile, over on Facebook, you see this:
Or even this:
But that Mark Zuckerberg, he’s a crafty one, getting rid of all of the notification emails that gave me validation that someone cared about the jibberish spouting from my fingertips or the insanely cute picture I just uploaded of someone throwing a tantrum. Now I have to actually visit the damn site to do my business, and then I just get sucked in to everyone else’s mundaneness (mundanity? mundanosity? mundaneousness?).
In addition to Zuck’s genius, my beloved Tweetdeck was a little too hard on Pearl, my Mac, and I’ve been using Twitter web (gag) for the time being and feel like I am missing a lot and just don’t tend to spend much time there. I miss you Tweetdeck. Someone buy me a new Mac so I can see you again.
So I’ve been on Facebook a little more, and it’s proved to be very useful. If you know me well, you know that I hate making decisions. I like to pawn that stuff off on other people, like my husband. Or my dog even. Or social media.
I use it for important shopping related questions:
Interior decorating advice:
But I really like to pawn my parental decision making off on you guys. Like this:
Or even this:
Don’t go all thinking I don’t want to hang out with my kid. If she stayed home we could have done all the fun stuff that Rachel hates, like watch Tangled. But I PAY for Mother’s Day Out, and so they need to GO to Mother’s Day Out as many days as they possibly can. We go Monday/Wednesday, so we already miss all of those damn Monday holidays that I coveted when I worked at a financial institution. So let’s reserve staying home for head wounds or puking, mkay?
And then this:
We have this bad habit of going to the doctor for absolutely nothing, but staying home to ride out serious illnesses like the flu, making it to the doctor after the 48 hour window for Tamiflu has practically closed. That crap made my kids inSANE anyway, so I’m not sure I want to take that on again.
I also tend to see dollar signs whenever I do anything. We have a high deductible health care plan, meaning we hand over our first born for everything until we meet our deductible, no copays. So I tend to skirt the issue of going to the doctor unless it’s truly necessary. You know, like to use the potty.
Unfortunately I don’t know what necessary is. Thankfully you guys do, because later that day I was the proud owner of 1 nebulizer, 1 antibiotic, 24 doses of Albuterol, and 1 pneumonia diagnosis. She’s doing breathing treatments every few hours, or as she puts it, “Iss time to do my smoke!”
I think I’m actually going to teach her to say, “Iss time to get my smoke on!” so we could really look like parents of the year when she repeats it to her teacher?
So thank you, valiant, brave, and early morning Facebook and Twitter users who help me make those tough parenting and shopping decisions. When I’m out of milk and bread or when the rest of the class comes down with pneumonia too, at least I have back up.
PS: See that running related status up there? That’s from my good friend, who just completed a half marathon. She’s a badass, as are all of the others who did the race. My poking fun at her status is all in good fun. She has a right to be proud of herself.
PPS: You see all of those comments on my FB posts? Did you know you can also leave those comments on my fanpage? I know! So cool. Come on by! I like it when you talk to me.