I complain a lot that I don’t have any leisure time. Since our days are napless and even movie times result in “I need snack!” and “I need drink!” and that oh so pesky “Sit wit me, Mommy!” I really can’t get anything worthwhile done during daylight hours.
So at “OMG they’re finally in bed” o’clock, I have to get to work. That means housework (bare minimum, folks), blog work, budget work, or honest to goodness actual work, like for money and stuff. I rarely crawl into bed before 11:30, and I never shut my brain off before midnight.
Sometimes I get a little resentful of some of the people loafing around all evening watching the DVR with their loved one. I don’t even have a DVR, and the only TV watching I do is online and reserved for laundry folding. Don Draper and I are the ultimate multitaskers. He juggles a a job, a wife, and multiple skank hoes, and I juggle folding laundry and watching him juggle multiple skank hoes. Everybody wins. Except maybe his wife.
But sometimes I really have to do something, and that that really having to do something makes my distraction meter kick into its highest “Oooooh something shiny!” setting. Those “have to do’s” usually include working on the budget or doing serious writing. Not like this. We all know things are far from serious up in here.
So say I’m writing. Something serious. Brilliant even. Thinking hard. My brain hurts.
Comment. Share. Like. Comment. Brain feels better. Facebook is like watching mindless TV!
Make my move in no less than 11 Word With Friends games. Brain feels intelligent in 8 out of those 11 games.
Check twitter. Brain feels happy, but a bit overwhelmed.
Refresh twitter. Brain feels bored.
Go back to Facebook.
Read that article from HuffPo that you liked.
Click on another article. Brain feels good about keeping up with current events.
And another. Brain feels dumber for reading about a Kardashian.
Oooh! Check my feedburner subscribers. Brain feels good momentarily, but self esteem is shot.
Check my blog stats. Brain’s self esteem takes another hit.
Laugh at the ridiculous google searches that lead people to my blog. Brain is entertained.
Respond to comments. Brain is overwhelmed trying to figure out when the last time was that it responded to comments. Brain aborts comment mission.
Check facebook again. Brain is irritated that no one has posted anything new in the past 90 seconds. Brain should have stayed on Twitter.
Look at my own facebook profile. Brain chuckles at my last witty status update involving poop and/or noncompliant children.
Browse through my own photos. Aw…brain remembers that one. And that one.
Remember upcoming Valentine’s party at Mother’s Day Out. Log onto Pinterest to look for DIY Valentine’s Day crafts. Brain is easily distracted by images of delectable cupcakes I’ll never make and DIY projects I’ll never complete.
Brain is confused. What was I looking for?
Decide making Valentine’s Day cards is way too ambitious. Brain feel relieved.
Look at clock. 97 minutes have passed and I have gotten nothing done but Facebooking, tweeting, pinning, and writing the word “the.” Brain is frustrated, and a bit defeated. It’s writing juice is gone.
Get in bed.
Read a few blogs on my phone. Curse stupid, tiny phone keyboard. Brain, however, is entertained.
Oh look! It’s my turn again in seven of my Words With Friends games. Brain is ecstatic about totally making up a word that turned out to be real for 59 points.
It’s past midnight. Brain sighs. So much stimulation. So little sleep.
Lights out. Settle into comfy bed. Close eyes. Brain starts relaxing….
Wait! Brain immediately thinks of 187 ideas for aforementioned serious writing project that MUST BE RECORDED RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR BRAIN WILL FORGET.
Pick up phone to jot down ideas containing lots of typos. Brain feels the burn. Brain feels so tired, yet SO ALIVE!
Ideas recorded. Brain lets out a sigh of relief.
But while were here, why not check Twitter one more time…..