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Things I do to avoid doing what I’m supposed to do

I complain a lot that I don’t have any leisure time. Since our days are napless and even movie times result in “I need snack!” and “I need drink!” and that oh so pesky “Sit wit me, Mommy!” I really can’t get anything worthwhile done during daylight hours.

So at “OMG they’re finally in bed” o’clock, I have to get to work. That means housework (bare minimum, folks), blog work, budget work, or honest to goodness actual work, like for money and stuff. I rarely crawl into bed before 11:30, and I never shut my brain off before midnight.

Sometimes I get a little resentful of some of the people loafing around all evening watching the DVR with their loved one. I don’t even have a DVR, and the only TV watching I do is online and reserved for laundry folding. Don Draper and I are the ultimate multitaskers. He juggles a a job, a wife, and multiple skank hoes, and I juggle folding laundry and watching him juggle multiple skank hoes. Everybody wins. Except maybe his wife.

But sometimes I really have to do something, and that that really having to do something makes my distraction meter kick into its highest “Oooooh something shiny!” setting. Those “have to do’s” usually include working on the budget or doing serious writing. Not like this. We all know things are far from serious up in here.

So say I’m writing. Something serious. Brilliant even. Thinking hard. My brain hurts.

Check facebook.

Comment. Share. Like. Comment. Brain feels better. Facebook is like watching mindless TV!

Make my move in no less than 11 Word With Friends games. Brain feels intelligent in 8 out of those 11 games.

Check twitter. Brain feels happy, but a bit overwhelmed.

Refresh twitter.

Refresh twitter. Brain feels bored.

Go back to Facebook.

Read that article from HuffPo that you liked.

Click on another article. Brain feels good about keeping up with current events.

And another. Brain feels dumber for reading about a Kardashian.

Oooh! Check my feedburner subscribers. Brain feels good momentarily, but self esteem is shot.

Check my blog stats. Brain’s self esteem takes another hit.

Laugh at the ridiculous google searches that lead people to my blog. Brain is entertained.

Respond to comments. Brain is overwhelmed trying to figure out when the last time was that it responded to comments. Brain aborts comment mission.

Check facebook again. Brain is irritated that no one has posted anything new in the past 90 seconds. Brain should have stayed on Twitter.

Look at my own facebook profile. Brain chuckles at my last witty status update involving poop and/or noncompliant children.

Browse through my own photos. Aw…brain remembers that one. And that one.

Remember upcoming Valentine’s party at Mother’s Day Out. Log onto Pinterest to look for DIY Valentine’s Day crafts. Brain is easily distracted by images of delectable cupcakes I’ll never make and DIY projects I’ll never complete.

Repin.

Repin.

Repin.

Brain is confused. What was I looking for?

Decide making Valentine’s Day cards is way too ambitious. Brain feel relieved.

Look at clock. 97 minutes have passed and I have gotten nothing done but Facebooking, tweeting, pinning, and writing the word “the.” Brain is frustrated, and a bit defeated. It’s writing juice is gone.

Get in bed.

Read a few blogs on my phone. Curse stupid, tiny phone keyboard. Brain, however, is entertained.

Oh look! It’s my turn again in seven of my Words With Friends games. Brain is ecstatic about totally making up a word that turned out to be real for 59 points.

It’s past midnight. Brain sighs. So much stimulation. So little sleep.

Lights out. Settle into comfy bed. Close eyes. Brain starts relaxing….

Wait! Brain immediately thinks of 187 ideas for aforementioned serious writing project that MUST BE RECORDED RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR BRAIN WILL FORGET.

Pick up phone to jot down ideas containing lots of typos. Brain feels the burn. Brain feels so tired, yet SO ALIVE!

Ideas recorded. Brain lets out a sigh of relief.

But while were here, why not check Twitter one more time…..

 

 

 

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Leigh Ann Torres
Writer, artist, wife, cook, maid, bookkeeper, mom to twins plus one...all around genie in a bottle, except you only get one wish, and it has to be reasonable.
21 Comments
  1. I have done this so many times. Except for the serious writing part, I don’t do that. Your brain is probably more fulfilled than mine!

  2. This is exactly what happens to me!

    I always say I never have time for anything but I always have time to play on the computer. And when I come online to look up something specific, I always get sucked into Facebook, Twitter, blog reading, etc. first and then forget what I came on for in the first place.

    • I do that too! Then I get up from my computer 30 minutes later, walk away, and then remember “Oh yeah! I was looking for _______!”

  3. Our brains are friends, I think.

    You know what I mean.

    Off to check FB just one more time… then bed.

  4. I wish there was some lock I could set up that would only allow me to log-in a few times a day. I’m my own worst enemy. :)

  5. Too funny! And I know the feeling exactly.

  6. I would kill for your 8 in 11 ratio! :-)

  7. hi
    how the hell do you think I got here?
    twitter
    blog
    reading
    commenting
    no work done.

  8. “Facebook is like watching mindless TV!” So true. I’m an addict.

  9. Funny! If it makes you feel any better we have a DVR, but it only gets used to record and watch millions of Nick Jr shows. I can’t remember the last time I watched anything on TV that wasn’t animated. Oh wait, the Fresh Beat Band was on today. It was refreshing.

  10. You just explained exactly how I write a post!
    And then sometimes I forget that I was even writing one until I’m in bed!

    Also?
    I thought you were only playing me on WWF.
    Cheater.

    And?
    I have a WWF complex now.

    • LOL! I’m playing you, some friends, Christian, my SIL and BIL, and Lady E. ;) Oh, and a complete stranger that I thought was a friend.

  11. If Brain wants to feel really inferior, I can suggest a WWF partner who will regularly clean your clock.

    You’ll probably learn some new words from her, at least….

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