You better check yo’self. Your skin, I mean.

dermatologist paper gown selfie

It’s time for your friendly neighborhood PSA about skin checks! Don’t’ click away. It’ll be fun. Also, you might not want to be eating right now.

I had to go see the dermatologist the other day to get a mole checked out. Β Don’t go “ew” or anything, it wasn’t that gross. I hate to spoil the surprise, but the twins did not get their glorious olive skin tone from me. I’m pretty much your typical white girl: pale and splotchy and freckly.

I’m a pretty staunch sunblock user, except when I’m not. I’ve been using moisturizer with sunscreen since I was a teenager, and when I’m out in the sun, I use the kids’ SPF 75 on my face and neck to Β be safe. I usually use SPF 30 on my body, sometimes even the 75. But sometimes I forget if I end up spending unexpected time outside, and I often forget to reapply.

I noticed some changes in a little spot that’s always been on my back as far as I can remember. When I looked at it a few weeks ago, it looked a little larger and a little misshapen. It was hard to see, so I called Christian in to have a look. I’m telling you, I know how to bring romance to the bathroom, hey-o!

I was a little nervous about the appointment. I’m one of those people who’s always afraid that while I look and feel completely healthy, there’s something evil brewing within me that will go completely overlooked until a doctor takes some freak random test and then we find that I have a week to live out the rest of my life, and I’ll be forced to cram a lifetime’s worth of love into 7 measly days.

But seriously, if I had only a week to live, I would probably just move into Gourgough’s and gorge on Miss Shortcakes every hour on the hour. (Have you been there? Most delicious and ginormous doughnuts. It’s insane.)

So I needed to focus on the positive. What’s GOOD about a trip to the dermatologist in which you may find out you’re about to meet your demise via a large freckle?

Waiting rooms

I know. I sound crazy. But this waiting room had three things I adore: quiet (as in the absence of children, including my own), forms to fill out (I’m a freaking whore for forms!!!), and Alex Trebek. And I believe the question you’re looking for is “What is a big old nerd, Alex?” Ah, yes. Embarrassing confessions for $1000.

Friendly service

It’s always nice to visit a place with friendly staff who will tell you that from your description, it’s not entirely necessary to start making arrangements for your upcoming demise. And they don’t heave at the site of your back fat when they have to take photos of your questionable spots. It’s the little things.

Also, I’m at that age where I think it’s incredibly weird and a tad unsettling to have doctors who are my age. Like we’re sitting there, eye to eye, talking about my skin, and I’m thinking This could so totally be me if I was smarter and had a slightly overwhelming fascination with epidermis.Β 

High fashion

Two words: Paper shirt

Behold this high fashion masterpiece with it’s crisp (but not overly so!), yet soft papery texture and edgy pink color that makes my pale skin really shine in all it’s washed out glory. Rear ventilation not pictured.

Honestly, it felt a little wasteful to throw that baby in the trash afterwards, but it was either that or end up in a highly uncomfortable situation in which the paper shirt would inevitably fall out of my purse while I’m pulling out my wallet to make a follow up appointment, and we’d all just kind of stand there and stare at the floor where it fell and then I’d just kick it under a table and go on like nothing had happened.

dermatologist paper gown
Such a waste of soft, papery goodness.


After the appointment, I’m pretty sure that my spots were nothing to worry about. The dermatologist did take some samples, which now kinda look like someone just carved out a hole in my back and now I’m wondering why they didn’t just remove the whole damn thing? But I’ll hear the results back in a week or so. Sorry I don’t have gross pictures of my moles, but I didn’t think to take my own, and asking the nurse to email them to me just seemed a little odd even if I did tell her I was totally going to blog this. I’m sure she hears that all the time.



Join the Conversation


  1. I am disappointed there are no pictures, but my fascination with epidermis isn’t really Silence of the Lambs – just curious πŸ™‚

    1. Jennie, I have a friend from college in Paris, and she has told me about that, especially as it relates to OB/GYN appointments. Seems so awkward, but I guess if that’s the norm, people don’t notice. Or French doctors are pervy. πŸ˜‰

    2. Awkward! But then again, y’all embrace the nudity more than we do right? Nude beaches and all? I have no idea, I’ve never been overseas.

  2. You made me laugh so hard. But seriously, I’m the WORST at re-applying, too. (And have a major things for forms/Alex Trebek.)

  3. I TOTALLY need to go get my skin checked. I am far overdue. I mean, it should be a yearly thing if I really want to take care of myself. Good for you for making that appointment! And I just bet you look hot in a paper shirt πŸ™‚

    1. Yeah, I should probably get an all over check. I have more freckles than moles, but it never hurts to check. And you KNOW i was rocking that paper fashion.

  4. My hubby needs to do this. Not that you needed to know this but he’s a moley man! πŸ˜‰

    Good for you for getting it checked out and yes, I love waiting rooms for the quiet as well… ahhhh….

  5. “This could so totally be me if I was smarter and had a slightly overwhelming fascination with epidermis.” So funny! I burst out laughing. This post is so funny, but also a great reminder. Check yoself!

  6. I have my annual skin check next month – don’t even get me started on pale skin and weird moles – but alas I do not get a fancy paper shirt. Robbed!

    1. The moled peeps are coming out with this post. πŸ˜‰ Keep an eye on them! If you see changes, get it checked out.

  7. Dang moles. Hope it all checks out. And I would have had them get rid of that sucker. I’ve got sooo many had total of 13 removed from my face neck and Uhhh boobs Can’t stand them. They are the big ugly ones. Gah!!!! I even fibbed a little that the ones on my face were changing so they would remove them. I mean they were changing they were getting bigger. But apparently hormones from child birth can make them bigger? Idk that’s what the doc told me.

    1. Weird sh*t happens when you have kids. I developed a freaky wart on my cheek when pregnant with the girls and had to have it removed. So gross.

  8. I am so overdue for a physical and skin check. I am VERY moley. I’m pretty good about wearing sunscreen, but I live in Southern California for God’s sake… I need to get checked out. Thanks for the reminder.

  9. So glad you had it checked! I think the same thing about my dermatologist, age-wise. We’re in the same phase of life, both with little kids, and every time she’s removing a questionable spot from my body we chat about the stuff I talk to girlfriends about. It’s odd.

    I’m healing from four removals/biopsies, too. Such fun. But they all turned out to be nothing, thankfully!

    1. I’m so glad! I’m sure it’s nothing, but it definitely deserved to be reported to the internet. πŸ˜‰

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