The shearing

There comes a time in every young girl’s life when she must do something drastic. She needs to show her independence. Fight the power. Give a big ole middle finger to The Man.

Except when you’re three, and The Man is The Mom, and that Thing You Must Do is to take a pair of blunt tipped child safety scissors and cut off half of your luscious, golden brown, perfectly ringletted locks.

I’m going to preface this by saying that I wasn’t even here for this event. I was getting small chunks of back skin removed. Dad was in charge. Having come home from work early to relieve me, he went back to his desk to “check his email,” “just for a second,” and “had no idea she did this” until I came home and inquired about all the hair on the kitchen floor.

Now in his defense, all three girls were at the kitchen table playing with their homemade silly putty, and they always use scissors to cut it and then drape it over their hands and arms in some Silence of the Lambs type scenario that’s not at all creepy. I leave them alone-ish to do this all the time. Only when I’m here, no one dares cut their own hair. Dad being in charge must give off an air of freedom and fearlessness. The sky’s the limit! Or the back of the head where you can’t reach with your short little arms is, at least.

When I came home, everyone was watching a movie, so I started cleaning up the silly putty that was left out. That’s when I saw the hair on the floor. I knew it was Zoe’s right away. But it was only a few little locks.

“Zoe, did you cut your hair?”

“Oh yeah! I did!”

“Where?” It really wasn’t obvious, just looking at her.

“Right heah, and heah, and heah.” She pointed to the front, the side, the back. It looked a little off kilter, but nothing too obvious. I reached up to touch her hair and check the unevenness of it all…

And that’s when clumps of hair just came right out by the handful. And she was left with this.

Classic three-year-old move, the ย cutting of the hair. Timed perfectly with the fact that I was just looking at her hair earlier that day and thinking about how cute and perfect it was, always framing her face in perfect ringlets.

Take it from me, don’t ever think happy thoughts about your kids’ hair. They’ll plum go and chop it off.

So that weekend I took her to the haircut place to get it evened out. I winced as the lady showed me how short she was going to have to cut it, but we had to even it out. I’m not cool enough to tote around a child with a trendy asymmetrical cut.

After I unsuccessfully tried to convince her to only charge me half price because clearly half of the job had been done for her, we left with three DumDum lollipops and one very cute bob.

short hair
Peacock not included

And seriously, I cannot stop staring at her. She’s so damn cute. She looks a full year older, is now talking in full paragraphs, and all of the sudden decided to give the big eff you to the little training potty in lieu of the big porcelian throne.

So what we’ve learned here:

Leaving kids unattended with scissors can lead to bad things.

Leaving your husband unattended with your children can also lead to bad things.

Short curly hair on 3-year-olds is to die for.

Cutting hair somehow leads to potty training success.

Your youngest child is now a grown up and you are sobbing in the corner.

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29 Comments

  1. Such a bittersweet moment. So sad her hair had to be cut, but it is absolutely adorable!! So sad she is so grown up, but she is absolutely adorable! Cheyenne did that not to long ago and while she doesn’t have the beautiful ringlets, she has the almost waist length beautifully straight hair. When I saw her with her scissors and not cutting her paper with them, I inquired what she was doing. Of course she said nothing and I didn’t see anything right away but when I put her to bed that night , I pulled the sheets back and what is there but a handful of her hair…..quite a bit and quite long. I looked and looked and looked for where she had cut it and couldn’t find it. She had no idea where the hair came from and was in tears and very upset about the fact that her hair was no longer on her head. It wasn’t until 3 or 4 days later that while I was brushing her hair I found a little section that stuck up about 2 inches….that’s it. Luckily it was long enough that her hair still laid down and the rest of her hair covered it up. So I guess I was lucky that she didn’t cut off all of her beautiful long hair, but still…..lesson learned. But that cute little curly bob is precious and congratulations on the potty training success!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. She is such a little doll with her bob! My girls haven’t dared cut their hair (yet), but the youngest did draw with marker all over the couch and ottoman while his dad was in the same room but not paying attention.

    1. I seriously wanted to cry! But now that we’ve cut it, I’m thinking of keeping it short like this. It’s so dang cute.

  3. The short curls are absolutely adorable. It’s unfortunate that that’s how you arrived at them. But, hey, potty training success!

  4. Oh yes.

    The haircutting.

    Sigh.

    All scissors have been forever locked up in my house. I have a feeling your house is now the same.

  5. My little sister was once a flower girl for a friend of mine. She was 3, and the day before the wedding, she gave herself one hell of a haircut.

    I felt bad, but also relieved, because she was to be my flower girl as well, and my wedding was a good 2 months away. Ahh, I thought. At least she got that out of the way and it will totally grow back before my wedding.

    Yeah, and then she cut her bangs two days before my wedding. In that close cropped way that there is no saving via a cute style, there is only waiting.

    http://www.thislemonyogurt.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/159_22973410760_7960_n.jpg

    1. Oh no! Not the bangs!

      I admit, that photo gave me a laugh. The bangs along with the smile on her face. Hilarious.

  6. 9 years old, 2 days before school photos. ::headdesk:: Just the bangs. We had a discussion about that. (And after that one unfortunate incident, *I* am not allowed to touch her bangs, or I would have done so before she had the chance to solve her own problem.)

    I wouldn’t cut off chunks, but I’d cut 2 or 3 hairs at a time and gloat secretly about it. I was a strange child.

  7. Her hair is perfect. The cutting would have made me sad, too, but it will grow back, if you let it. I’d also think about leaving it short. Adorable!

    My kids waited until they were each 5 to cut their own hair. Guess they are late bloomers.

    1. I am definitely thinking of leaving it short. I love it.

      My twins never really cut their own hair. Claire just snipped a lock in the front once when she was 4, but that was it.

  8. Oh my gosh! Look how stunning she is! I am so glad she did that!

    But yes… things tend to go badly when Dad is in charge. And yes, watching those ringlets fall off is heartbreaking. Cam hand ringlets, until they were cut off… ๐Ÿ™

    1. The twins had them too. Their hair is still curly, but not like it used to be. *sniffle*

  9. Man, that is some awesome hair!! So jealous. I always wanted locks like that…

    K did the same thing (I think I told you?) when she was 2 and people LOVED her bob. I thought it was cute too but now I like it longer for pigtails and braids, you know that she leaves in for 10.3 seconds. Yeah.

    And YAY on the potty training! WOW!!

    1. I love Zoe’s hair in braids or a ponytail, but I feel like i’m cheating the world because then they can’t see her adorable curls. Weird, I know.

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