don’t tell Zoe…

….that it’s not really pronounced bluebomment.

….that she did not, in fact, lose her teeth “a long long long long long time ago” and her baby teeth grew in after them.

….that an entire morning of board games is one of the most effective forms of torture for parents. Yes! please! You may now play your iPad!


….that Chris Kratt is married with 5 kids and like 40+ years her senior.

….that it’s about time the 2T polka dot jacket she covets was sent out to pasture.

….along with that favorite dress that’s looking more like a shirt these days.

….that she has Nutella all over her face.

….that as much as you love playing “Ninja Turtle Scares Mommy,” there are only so many circles a mommy can stand to run around the couch.

….that “eecause” starts with a B.

….that I really love it when she comes and snuggles in my bed, especially when she starts flailing and throwing her legs over me.

….actually, go ahead and tell her that part, about the leg flailing thing.

….that her stubbornness and determination will probably make her a real go-getter one day, but probably more like a complete asshole to work with.


….to smile.

….that she’s cute.

….that those shoes are too big.

….or that those shoes are too small.

….just…it’s best you just stay quiet and try not to make any sudden movements.


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