we have survived

Congratulations! It's the flu.
Congratulations! It’s the flu.

Rule #1 of nearing the end of winter break and the beginning of the new school semester: Don’t celebrate too heartily, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my almost 7 years of parenting, it’s that when you haven’t had a day (an hour!) to yourself in 3 weeks and you really have some work and introverting to catch up on…someone’s gonna get sick. The universe is all LOLOLOLOL that’s cute.

Claire started running a fever Monday night. School was due to start on Tuesday. So I kept her home, and she was jumping on the trampoline by lunchtime, and I really thought that would be the end of it. But soon she was back on the couch and her temperature crept back up, and I knew. Usually I wait a sickness out for a couple of days, but as soon as the fever and coughing started, I had a feeling that we had been blessed with the flu. This isn’t my first flu-rodeo. So Tuesday through Thursday she was home, we had 3 prescriptions for Tamiflu, and I just prayed that no one else would get it. Mainly Christian, because if there’s anything more pathetic than a 6-year-old with the flu, it’s a 36-year-old with the man-flu.

By 7:32am Friday I was (happily!) (but lovingly!) shoving her cute (non-contagious!) (fever-free!) little butt down the sidewalk to school. I really enjoyed having the girls home during the break, but it was time to go back, and we both knew it. I may have cursed the “24 hours fever free” rule that kept her home on Thursday, bouncing off the walls with boredom and Tamiflu-induced mania, but okay, I enjoyed the extra snuggles we got that day, also the nap I took on the couch while she and Zoe did something extremely loud, but not destructive enough to bother me in the other room.

We’ve watched every single episode of Wild Kratts. And Ninjago. We learned that Wii controllers are endlessly frustrating for little hands. We were reassured that Tamiflu still drives our kids batshit crazy.

We also discovered that kids are much more willing to take nasty medicine if you immediately hand them a spoonful of chocolatey Nutella goodness. After begging and pleading and really not understanding why they wouldn’t just get it over with, I’m now having to turn down requests for medicine and chocolate. Sometimes this parenting gig is so damn simple, it kills me.

And despite the fact that she coughed in my face 847 times, NO ONE ELSE CAUGHT IT.

You said it, Data.
You said it, Data.


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  1. Man flu is the worst. So glad you avoided it.
    My kids are back in school for the first time in over three weeks because Polar Vortex. Raising my coffee mug to you!

  2. After a weekend of super-togetherness, I was kind of looking forward to a day at the office . . . but that thing that sweet Claire is getting over? My mother in law has it. So I worked from home — which wouldn’t be the end of the world, deal with the kids for a few hours and then drop them at preschool.

    Then the skies opened while it was below freezing . . . schools are cancelled Everyone is home. So I’m trying to work while opening fruit snacks and folding laundry and explaining that, “no, I will not spend actual money so that you can buy this thing in the game you’re playing” and doing dishes and keeping the dogs from eating the kids’ food . . . over and over and over again.

    I feel your pain. Even if the worst illness we’ve had was a 24 hour stomach bug that only one child had to fight.

    1. John, that was us last January. Holidays, then sick, then a bajillion ice days, then LICE, and all when I had 4 deadlines coming up. It was not pretty.

  3. We were on the ear infection/fever train over here. Choo choo! Glad no one else caught the flu. Stay healthy.

    That Data GIF is cracking me up and now I’m just wondering how you even find something so beautifully random…

    Yeah you would NEVER live that man flu down.
    Keeping my fingers crossed for you that HE doesn’t get it.

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