I’m waving the white flag. Reluctantly. Thankfully.
For 3 days I tried to convince myself I was on the National Blog Posting Month bandwagon. I did it last year (actually did 21 out of 30 days, but still). It was a great experience and experiment into challenging myself to write daily and to write imperfectly. It brought out the old school blogger in me. I wrote about a lot of things I would have most definitely posted about 5 years ago, but these days? When we’re busy and it seems like no one is reading and if they are, all anyone wants to read are click bait headlines and pinnable parenting advice? A little post about my kids just doesn’t seem to fit anymore.
That sounds incredibly whiny. It’s not meant to.
I love going back and reading those things. Some great posts came out of it. This year, however, I wasn’t even ready to commit until I sat down on the evening of November 1 and hammered out a Halloween wrap up. That’s how I roll – by the seat of my pants. I should have listened to my gut telling me, “LOL not this year, Leigh Ann!”
I made it three days. On day 4 I spent all day at a fundraiser for the organization I work for, then took the kids to see Trolls (GO SEE IT). On Day 5 I presented at a conference, took the kids to a birthday party, then went to a family friend’s to celebrate her birthday in the evening. On Sunday I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn (yay DST!), did all the laundry, and headed solo to the Texas Book Festival.
Throw all that together with the lingering cough I’ve had for weeks that Sunday night turned into miserable hacking and knotted up back muscles and a 10pm run to Walgreens for some cough syrup and throat lozenges….well let’s just say the only reason I’m writing this now is to a) admit defeat, and b) because I needed something to do as I slowly become one with the couch today.
Bottom line, NaBloPoMo is fun, but it doesn’t align with my goals right now, which are mainly just to remain upright (mentally, because see above statement about becoming one with the couch). I’m not quite sure how it happened, but as my kids get older, life gets busier, and the capacity of my mental energy gets smaller, which also affects my physical energy. Maybe it’s the sickness talking, because I’ve been tired for a while. But I feel like I’m giving everything I have right now, and I end each day completely exhausted, yet still feeling like there was nothing left for me.
So right now I’m coughing, melting into the couch, flipping on Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix, and wondering if I need to go back to the doctor. Maybe I’ll check in in a few days to let you know how it goes.